3.11.09

giving up is not part of my vocabulary

Waiting for my bus, I have a tendency to people watch. The ones that always seem to catch my eye though are those who are running or wearing their, “UCR Track & Field” or “UCR Cross Country shirts.” It’s as if they are all rubbing it in my face, like they’re mocking me. I had the opportunity to do something I really wanted to, I had the chance to be running for that team. Unfortunately, there is always other factors, other very unwelcome factors that inhibited me from following what otherwise would have been an automatic yes.
Not being on the team, I figured, well I can still run.
That ended a few months back when I came to the realization that I am injured. I thought it would go away with time. It’s still there.

Ideally, we all want something we can’t have. I guess, that’s what makes the chase so much better, or so much worse, depending on how you look at it.
I miss the freedom of running. I miss the ability to just drop everything and empty my mind, free my body of any restraints, with only my feet to carry me. What can I do about it? Just keep on moving. But I know, this is not the end.


This idea goes for so many people. Its not a circumstance that remains specific. Everyone has something that ultimately is out of reach, or so they believe. So they give up. That’s the end of it. Let’s change dreams, because this one is just too difficult.
That’s not the answer. Giving up is the easy way out. You’ll get somewhere, sure, but is that somewhere what you want, what you wanted? No.
The journey is the greatest part. The most challenging, maybe, but in the end, its all worth it. To reach that last goal, to get that long awaited medal, to reach the finish line, its all so much more worth it knowing the heart wrenching path that was required to get there, and that despite it, you made it. It makes that trophy shine so much brighter. It makes that smile, that happiness, so much more real.

don't get me wrong, optimism is not easy to always carry. it's difficult, i know, i definitely haven't always been able to carry such a positive attitude. and i have one person to thank for that. i love you michael.

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